Sunday, January 08, 2012

The Christmas - New Year's Hiatus

GLAD All THAT IS OVER

Now that the lights are no longer blinking, the ornaments are put away and the ugly sweater is stored away for next year's party (Yes honey, it is ugly) we can finally try to get back on the court and work off the Viking portions of cookies, pies and eggnog we crammed into us. Did you avoid self-restraint like me and ingest so many sweets that you felt the commercials for diabetes were being directed at you personally? So what are you doing about it? Are you pumping out star drills, court sprints, outside road work, drinking water instead of liquifying the left over apple pie? Lets hope so.

The flip side of the "season" is that you may have someone in your life who knows you have a squash addiction. That makes it easy for gift giving. Hopefully, you can work off the seasonal up-tick in personal volume with some newly acquired gear. New racquet, shoes, shirts (For the Love of God Jenks! Please tell us the kids came through), shorts,wrist bands?

If you haven't already started then you need to get moving. There's only 4 months left in the season.

I truly hope everyone had a happy and healthy holiday season. Now lets get on with the Squash!!


SO WHO DID WE PLAY, HOW DID WE DO AND WHERE DID WE EAT?

FALL RIVER AND RIVER BEND

UGH and DOUBLE UGH!

Oh the similarities:
1 court - 1 with a frozen sponge for a front wall, the other not even close to regulation.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

RI OPEN - THE PROS and THE REST OF US

BILLETING - The Pros

Golfer 1: "Hey, you going to the pro tournament in town this week?"

Golfer 2: "Yeah. You?"

Golfer 1: "I might as well. Tiger Woods is staying at my house during the tournament and he needs a ride to the course."

Golfer 2: "Really?"

Golfer 1: "Yeah, and Ernie Els and Vijay Singh are staying a street over at Greg's house."

Golfer 2: "Wow. What's his World ranking now."

Golfer 1: "Tiger is 52 and the guys at Greg's are in the 60-70 range."

Golfer 2: "You gotta do anything special?"

Golfer 1: "Not really. They sleep a lot, text continuously, need to practice a little and love pasta. Really nice guys and they gave me some tips on improving my game when we hit balls together."

Now, just change the names to Zac Alexander, Amr Swelim and Jan Koukal. Although not household names, they rank among the best in the World at what they do. As a squash junkie, it's very cool to hang with they guys you see on Youtube or read about in Squash Magazine.
Getting on court with them is also a treat. Just when you think you have your game dialed in or a particular shot that you think is absolutely perfect, they open your eyes to just how good they really are (and how much we normal humans really suck). They not only get EVERYTHING, they hit a winner off the best shot you've ever hit in your life.

So, next time a pro tournament comes to town fix up the spare bedroom and eat some pasta with the guy that could soon be the best squash player in the World.

TOURNAMENT RESULTS


Zac Alexander beat Jan Koukal in the final 3-0. The rally's were incredible. At one point there were over 100 shots in a row (the point ended in a LET!)

You might also be interested to know that Zac also won his next PSA tournament in Saskatoon with a win over Amr Swelim in the final there.


THE REST OF US

RICC was very well represented in the tournament on all skill levels. Apparently, some forgot to put their age in the registration form - mare later.

Father Hugh was in attendance all days, not playing - just keeping an eye on everybody and the tournament to make sure it all went off without a hitch.

Gemma played in the 5.0 draw and had his hands full with the 17 year old, Junior at St. George's. The kid had a huge advantage due to being used to the courts so it was a bit unfair. It also looked like he didn't sweat or breath hard - in any of his matches. Apparently he's being groomed for a slot on the Indian National Team.

In the 4.0 draw Nina had a run in with the basketball short wearing, giant, sleeveless ogre - 2nd year in a row. A new rule will be put in place for next years tournament - Shorts must be worn above the knee and all shirts must have sleeves.

I was in the 4.0 and like Gemma, was not used to the courts. The best part of the tournament for me was that I was lucky to come across a men's clothing store where I scored a great pair of corduroys. I just don't play well on the St. George's courts.

There were a bunch of 3.0 and 3.5 guys from RICC around. I'm not sure what draw they were in but they deserve mentioning. Auber played pretty good. Mini-Ted played OK but Auber clobbered him. Unfortunately for Sweet Lou, he was battling a severe cold. But, as we know, there's no quit in Lou and he valiantly battled on. Nice job guys.

But the magic of the tournament was in the 2.5 draw. RICC showed up with a couple never-evers and they were a treat to watch. I was even lucky to be asked to referee one of our guys. You're wondering what a "never-ever" is. A "never-ever" is a guy who has never-ever played in a tournament before. The "never-ever" walks around the squash venue with eyes like saucers trying to take it all in, not knowing where to turn and which court to watch. They don't know where they can or should stand to watch, when they can get on a court and they can't figure out who is in their draw so they can "scout" them. They are in disbelief. They've never-ever seen so many squash players and so many courts. They can't believe how hard some of the other players hit the ball and why nobody showed them the skid-boast or the "whadcha call that shot? A Philadelphia?" You can see them become visibly apoplectic with excitement, consternation, and nervous energy. But, the "never-ever" is the heart and soul of the future of squash. The "never-ever" is the new blood, the growth of the sport and squash junkies in the making.

Finally, the never-ever does settle down just enough to find the locker room, find the right court, check the number on the door again to make sure and then when they see their opponent, question themselves again. (I can't be playing her!)

The two stand-out "Never-evers" were TROOPER and LA JAY.

LA JAY is a clothing and fashion trendsetter. He is bringing his golf fashion prowess to squash and is about to turn the squash fashion world on its head. So much for all whites or conservative gear to match the historically stayed game of squash. Bumble Bee fashion is IN. Yellow shirt, knee high socks, left and right upper arm tendon bands and matching yellow trimmed court shoes let all the participants know there is a new "playa" in RI Squash and he is here to stay! I'm not sure how he did in the tournament but he looked like he was having a great time.

The TROOPER, not to be outdone by LA JAY, and measuring in on the hyper-competitive scale at a smidge over the Sweet Lou level, he decided to throw his weight around and do what he had to do to win. At 6'3" and 240 lbs he's an intimidating figure in jack boots, starched blouse and britches, Canadian Mountie hat and fire-arm. Maybe in his next tournament he'll wear his uniform on court. Because, without it, he was no match for a 4'10", 83 lb 7th grade, private school, girl. Apparently she's tougher to intimidate than your average felon. Despite being hip-checked and "accidentally" knocked to the floor, little Molly picked herself up and kicked the coffee and donuts out of the Trooper.

In the Trooper's next matches he looked like a man among boys . . . because he was. The talent was tougher but not much bigger or older than his first match. The Trooper held his own in the following matches a bit better after learning the lay of the land. The next tournament he plays in he'll be sure to wear his leather holster and firearm on court for affect. "Hey, if it ain't illegal then its legal."

All that being said, it's fair to say that most everyone enjoyed themselves.

Better luck next year!
Former

Monday, November 28, 2011

THE AGAWASP

IT'S LIKE GOING BACK IN TIME

We go on the road for our first away match of the season. It's only about 10 miles away but it feels like 60 years ago. Everything about the place reeks of old school, exclusionary, white, protestant, old men. You get a sense of where you are when you walk in the "renovated" locker room (they kept the old metal rusty lockers) and see the actual old men, typically stark naked just having a chat, or still in their whites undressing from the floor up. When you attempt to avert your eyes you are also taken by the names on the various champions plaques. Names like Aspinwall, Chase, Chillingsworth, Chittenden, Pierpont, Robertson, Stockbridge, Sylvester, Tabor, Winslow and Wentworth are indelibly printed in gold leaf on plaques such as, and I am not kidding, THE AGAWASP CUP. After being directed to one of the rusty metal lockers by the ever jovial and personable attendant, you get ready to make your way back outside to the squash building.

The faster you can scrub the hard drive from the gravity ravaged, saggy man experience the better. The quick jog over in the cool, crisp, night air seems to help.

WE ARE LINE-UP CHALLENGED

S3 is still out with a sore neck so everybody has to move up. No problem; just like the old days.

JENKS v. DARBY IN THE #1 SPOT(See, who names their kid Darby?)

Again with hitting the crap out of the ball?!?!?! Darby was able to handle the pace, hit decent length and cut the fat ones off. Despite the tight game scores Darb was able to wear his shorts a little higher after the win and we moved down to court 1 to see how Hads and Drew were faring.

HADS, a typically slow starter lost the first game. It was a matter of Hads just figuring out his opponent and playing to his weaknesses. Although it was a 5 gamer, Hads worked Drew over pretty good. Both were exhausted at the end of the match but Hads was wearing the smile.

I had the last match of the night against a 17 year old man-child. The kid is about 6' 1" and hits the snot out of the ball. Luckily I've been playing with Jenks for a few years now and have seen that movie. His lack of patience was evident and I snuck out a 3-0 victory.

Nina and Kick had make-up matches at RICC on the following Sunday and although gracious hosts they both were victorious. Despite every intention to get over to see you play and show support I found myself otherwise unavoidably detained elsewhere.

We have a couple weeks off due to a bye, The RI Open and Thanksgiving weekend. I'm sure all of us will be working on fitness and 1 particular thing in our game that we have identified that needs some attention.

Former

Sunday, November 13, 2011

SO FAR, NOT BAD

WEEK 1

Brown came in and it was clear we were not in game shape. Alex Putinfrontkoner was working his normal routine and S3 didn't have it. Actually, he had already lost it multiple times before he even got on the court - YUCK! Dehydration and a crick in his neck and he's out of the line-up.

Jenks had his hands full with the Rhodes Show. A bit more patience and his better ball striking would have become more apparent. However, week 1 readily makes apparent our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. What appeared to be the beginnings of a major blowout turned into a WTF match?

Hads completed a 5 gamer with PST Joe, a/k/a FNG. We had him believing he was on the hook for dinner due to his FNG status. FNG Joe came away with the win and Hads came off vowing to go on a diet.

I overate and under-coffeed at lunch (roast beef grinder and no Starbucks), unlike Nina who had a couple cashews and a sunflower seed, and felt like my feet were in cement. It was a circus out there with Caleb.

Her diet worked. Nina was the only one to get a victory as she essentially crushed the philosopher (Kniesche)

Kick Ess showed his team spirit and made it to the home opener despite not being in the line-up.

The Admiral was the call for post squash consumption and libation. Despite the score it was a nice start to the season.

WEEK 2

The Other Brown Team came for a visit to Barrington and this time we turned the tables. It seems like we are starting to hit our stride and took 4 matches.

Unlike week 1, the matches were enjoyable and there was a lot of good squash.

Jack got his first official RICC match win under his belt over the league president. Not a bad way to start; unfortunately your dues have doubled.

Hads had a pretty easy time with Cioffi with 3 straight short games.

Itchy, always a fun guy to play, walked away pretty dejected after getting wo-managed around the court. It was a double bummer for Itch as he couldn't join us for dinner at Billy's due to his 6 am flight the following morning.

My match was very fun. It's amazing how important diet and caffine are to good squash play.

There was some disconcerted energy floating around on court 1 during Jenks match. A little birdie told me that some of the referee calls were a bit inconsistent. Unfortunately, the calls were going against Jenks and the result was less than what he was looking for.

Billy's was the choice for post match sustenance and as usual the bill was higher than expected when we were tallying it up. We really need our Capt. to make a few calls to the various eateries and negotiate a squash menu for Tuesdays!!

TJM

Monday, October 24, 2011

WE START AS CHAMPIONS

Welcome back everybody! Thankfully, we have everybody back this year. (There's even a little more of some of us . . . if you know what I mean). It was touch and go there for a while; the off-season can be tough but we all pulled through.

We had a great season last year. As a team we dominated the league and held our own in the Nationals. We also had our share of individual accolades to go along with our team effort. Remember, competition makes us strong!

So we enter a new era this year. We have a new Captain or shall we say Den Mother or Capthern or Captneen or Alpha Female or Bella Don or Womanager. We haven't seen her much but we hear things are progressing.

We are also lucky to have a new teammate - The Jack Ess (just trying it out). He played with us in the Nationals and his competitive spirit, quality play and political manipulations allowed him an expedited application process. Welcome!

So it all begins tomorrow. The "Under New Management" sign will be prominently displayed and we will play hard, play smart, play like gentlemen and leave it all on the court just like she does.

It's gonna be a great year.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

How about some fitness ?

NEW SEASON - A YEAR OLDER - INJURIES ABOUND

EARLY SEASON FITNESS

Court sprints are the best and fastest way to get into game shape.

Suggested format:
1. Play your match or do your drills
2. Do the sprints at the end.
3. 12 lengths with a 30 second break, another 12 lengths, another 30 second break, continue until exhauseted
4. Concentrate on your footwork so you go into each length with the proper foot and touch low on the wall
5. The footwork becomes key especially under pressure and when tired.

Monday, October 25, 2010

RI SQUASH UPDATES

RI SQUASH OPEN

The tournament is being played the 18-21 (Amateurs 19 - 21) which is the weekend BEFORE Turkey Day. There's no reason we shouldn't all sign up and support the event. It will be good to work hard and get in game shape for the season.

Also, just like last year, each team is being asked to kick in $20 per player. Jenks will be at your door looking for the dough-ray-me ($$$).

Housing for the pros is requested. I know Neens is supporting Gilly. There's 1 guy from Ireland and I think I can help out there. Hads - there are a bunch from your old country (that missed the Mayflower) but might enjoy your antics.

Monti - there may even be a guy with multiple vowels in his name that you would be comfortable with.

NEW BLOG APPEARANCE


I felt like I need to do something new to improve the image. Since the 99 didn't quite cut the mustard last week I REBLOGIFIED with a cool, new burger background.

Maybe Thai with the Newporters this week?